As counsellors (and humans, first), we understand that this time can be quite challenging for everyone. The uncertainty that is unfolding around us on a day to day basis seems to be challenging our normal: turning things sideways and in some ways upside down. This can be quite scary, as it’s something that we’ve never fully experienced in our lifetime which has us feeling things we’ve probably never felt before.
With this time of uncertainty, we wanted to shed some light on some tips that might be helpful, while also helping our community become open and aware of how they are doing mentally. In regard to mental health, we wanted to simply say that your emotions may be all over the place right now; there may be a contrast of how you’re feeling and you may also be feeling a few things at once, and that’s okay. In a time such as this, and anytime, really, we want you to know that you need to feel your emotions. If you’re feeling bored, annoyed, frustrated, angry, sad, anxious, happy, confused, anything, it’s important to know that this is normal. In understanding how we’re feeling, it makes it easier for us to express these emotions, process them, and react to them in a way that is healthy. Ignoring how we feel in this situation will only make us feel worse, and ultimately make how we deal with what’s going on harder.
This is a unique situation to all of us, and like mentioned above, there will be quite a spectrum of feelings attached to the situation. If someone is feeling differently about Covid-19 than you are, that’s okay too. Please do not compare how you’re “holding up” to someone else because that will again make this situation harder to deal with.
If you start to feel as though your emotions and moods stay more negative, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional, or start to investigate what the cause of this might be and learn what changes need to be put in place that might help you feel better.
With this new reality, we think it’s important to look at the stages of grief in connection to Covid-19. Understanding these stages might help us become more aware of how we might be feeling and therefore give some answers and maybe some relief to those emotions that might not be familiar.
Kubler-Ross’s Grief Cycle is a five-stage model that includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
- Denial may include feelings of: avoidance, confusion, elation, shock, and fear.
- Anger may include feelings of: frustration, irritation, and anxiety.
- Bargaining may include: struggling to find meaning, seeking a way out of the situation, and asking ‘what if’ questions.
- Depression may include feelings of: overwhelmedness, helplessness, hostility, and wanting to flee (escape the situation).
- Acceptance may include feelings of: exploring options, having a new plan in place, and moving forward with the new norm.
When looking at the emotions associated with the stages of grief, it is easy to see the connection between this time of uncertainty and the mixed emotions listed above. The way you feel might jump around, might change day to day or even hour to hour, and that’s normal and okay. Our hope in sharing some of the more uncomfortable feelings was to put words to what might be going on internally at different points of this situation.
Now all this seems quite heavy and our reasoning was not to burden you with your emotions, but rather to allow you to accept how you’re feeling in this time, because there will be times when we do feel some of those heavier emotions like frustration, anger, etc; however, these are not the only ways that you might be feeling regarding Covid-19. We also wanted to share some tips of how you might be able to balance, process, and find some silver linings throughout this whole journey as well.
Tips on how to balance what’s going on:
- Enjoying the simple things → getting back to things we haven’t done in a long time, try something new, get to know/reconnect with your family members and/or pets!
- Keeping up with your community (virtually). Check in on a friend or do something nice for someone once per day (a compliment, kind words, etc). This will keep spirits high and is very contagious!
- Balance watching the news and taking time away (mentally) from the situation. It’s important to stay on top of things, but it’s also important to let your nervous system relax and recover from being stressed. Even better if you can spend some time meditating or doing some deep breathing - this will help you fight/flight/freeze system relax.
- Balance input/output - be mindful of this balance. It’s totally fine to watch Netflix, movies, YouTube, read, etc. but these are all input activities. Try to be mindful to also balance with outputting something creative - make some food, paint, draw, write a journal (might be cool to look back on this time and remember how you felt and tell your grandchildren!), dance, or have a deep conversation with a friend or family member.
- Go outside to enjoy Vitamin D, fresh air, sunlight, movement, and being in nature. Mentally and physically this is so important. Keep your social distance, but plan on being outside for a good chunk of time every day! It’s a great thing to do in between screen sessions/meetings/classes to ground yourself and give your eyes a break too!
Submitted by Ms. Newman and Ms. Prevost, Senior School Councillors